Guilt. How conflicted I feel towards the situation that I am in right now. Sometimes, I just do not understand why it appears to be so difficult, or rather should I say utterly ‘bleak’ when it is definitely not. Is it just me being all paranoid, out of character or just a sheer cowardice on my part? how unflattering. Shame on me. However, I refuse to see all the actions that I have taken have had repercussions on me, because I just can’t deal with guilt anymore. Lost is another adjective to be added here. I feel lost and incapable of doing something that I’ve been longing to do, and it is not even what you call an ambitious dream, it really is not. It fustrates me,really. There have been signs pointing my toughts that I need to step up on the game or it is my loss then. That does not leave me with a choice, or does it?
Honest to God, I do realise my half-melodramatic dose of story-telling/rambles or whatever you may call it is of triviality. Even my group tutor once commented on one of my “not-so-romantic” essays, saying “your sentences are VAAAAGUEEEEEE“, and “where is the romanticism element in this paragraph? I don’t see any” *pfffft* not so pleased,aye? Is it because I have no even a slightest bit of that bizarre, overpowering emotions of love to begin with,huh? that I am not sensitive enough? aye aye? (LOL) This is what usually happens when I can’t accept defeat or unconstructive criticisms 😛
I am done now.
I am glad to be back 🙂
“I like rudeness a great deal better than flattery”